I did come across a few I-Banker chicks. We did sleep together (in the same class.. same lecture... in adjacent but separate seats); however, the intimacy didn't precipitate their propensity to like a washer-man. In the hindsight, that may be because I am an ignorant Bastard. I think I did notice a few things though. They were suave and they won't shy away if you discussed sex positions; which was nice - they weren't the prettiest and they would wear short skirts only during placements; which wasn't so nice. They would be game for vodka shots in one of those crazy nites, which was nice; but they will remain sober; which wasn't so nice (I mean if you pay for a girl's drink, you do want her drunk.. right!). I think one of these days, there may be one of those quick off the shelf desi books, from one of those B School campuses, which may picture them in a delightful canvas. I will wait for the tomes to learn more about them.
Right Now! I need to write a letter to a friend who thinks wearing specs make you a nerd and an intellectual.
Dear Kiran,
I am one of those guys who have just burnt their money in a Theater watching your movie. This is a plea to return all the money because I have a loan to repay and I am no Pablo Escobar (the infamous gangster who burned 2 million dollars to just to keep his daughter warm in winters). Also, because I am shallow.... very shallow.
Trust me without meaning disrespect to anyone; a dhobi having a chance of some action with an IBanker chick, is very low if not impossible. I am forwarding your phone number to my Dhobi. I am sure you would be delighted to meet this hunk from Darbhanga. (Since, you believe he has a real shot at an I Banker - from now on, I will call him Goldman). Goldman bangs my door at odd hours. He assumes something called privacy doesn't exist. Like a true IBanker, Goldman is very focused. The unassuming man charges inside the home the moment we answer the doorbell, to find wherever there is a cloth. One of these days, Goldman may pull cloths off my body. I hope you won't mind all these because he means no ill will. Infact, he really is close to his customers. If we give our clothes to some other dhobi - he will crib and cry till we pull him back in the ring. He is by far the most competitive guy in Kolkata. At 55, Goldman still is a hunk. I suggest you give him a 500 bucks ka note for every delivery. This will make him search for that "khulla" tugged somewhere in his dhoti. While he struggles with the tight knot around his waist, you will have a view of his grey hair on his naked thighs. He may not be a competition to Pratiek, but surely it will tickle your libido. You may want to get your camera, click some photographs and later add to your compilation of "The Real India". I would also request you to offer him some rum instead of coffee. Oh! don't get me wrong, he needs the rum because it keeps him warm at night (there is no room heater in the garage he lives in) and helps Goldman forget all the abuses that snobbish people like me throw at him.
Also! He charges 3 bucks per cloth that he will press. So, that's a deal! I get 4 clothes pressed free every month. I have also promised him a video ad, which will give him great publicity. I will read this blog to him. That would help him believe my story. That's also, because my friends find this blog incomprehensible - So, I guess I am desperate for some audience.
With Love,
Jay
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