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The Worst Posts

Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

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I Phone: I and the Game of Phones


Reference - Page 69, A Game of thrones, A song of Ice and Fire - by R.R. Martin

Intro: 
Jay Stark has just taken the responsibilities for the Hand of the King in Westeros; which is like being Deputy to the King. A tired, irritable and hungry Jay has been summoned to attend an urgent meeting of the small council.

Littlefinger = Master of the coin = Finance Minister
Varys = Master of Whisperers = Head of Intelligence

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Jay Stark : I don’t think I should get such a costly device to communicate. This is an extravagance that the realm can ill afford.

Littlefinger : Master of the coin finds the money. The king and the Hand spend it.

Jay Stark : I will not be a party to such an extravagance.

Littlefinger : His grace thinks a royal device is what the Hand of the King should carry. Every embellishment will add to the aura, which will bring respect. Respect and authority is what you need to take the kingdom from a 5.5 growth rate to 9.

Jay Stark : Authority and respect comes from the genuine interest to do good for the Kingdom. No amount of gold, for that matter Apple products can add any luster to the personality of the Hand.

Jay Stark contemplated for a moment in his thoughts - how happy was he with his Samsung Guru when he was in the North. The Gadget was still probably the cheapest gadget in the North but communication was pure and without any guile.His expressionless face stared at Littlefinger for explanations.

Littlefinger : You would anyways need a device to communicate with the King for he rarely comes out of his harem. Apologies but we have already sinned and bought I Phone 5 for you without your permission. Please, accept this welcome Gift.

Jay Stark retorted: Why I phone 5 and not something else, what about I phone 4 or Samsung Galaxy…? I Phone 5 will cost us 20 Gold Coins more.

Littlefinger : Because I Phone 5 is sleeker, thinner and lighter.

Jay Stark : This one doesn't look thin or light.

Littlefinger : That is because we have put it in a cover that will protect the Phone. It is more delicate than a sixteen year old virgin's hymen.

Jay Stark frowned : So, remind me why did we buy this since, it is not thin anymore and I have to open the case and show it to everyone for them to realize I carry an I Phone.

Littlefinger : Our Lord is truly honorable and bereft of the intention to play in the misty maze of the Westeros. Perhaps Lord Varys can explain the technological detail as I am only the master of coin and I follow the orders.

Varys : My Lord! How it amuses me that it’s the matter of only intellect that an eunuch is called into the service for all other body parts are considered useless save his brain.

Varys flashes a cunning smile towards Littlefinger and continues - Coming back to the matter of our immediate attention – I Phone is a product which originated beyond the walls and like the whitewalkers, its life is beyond the body it is confined to."

Littlefinger : Lord Varys! Apologies for interrupting but could you speak in the language of the commons. (Eunuch! That's how I pay my debts - word for word, insult for an insult)

Varys : What I meant was, I Phone brings about a lot of interest particularly in the Ladies of the castle. This is probably an unnecessary information but even the Hound was being gazed upon by the vixens while he was carrying the device to you.

Jay Stark : That could have been of help, while I was still young and had not been to any war. But now that I am old and devoted to my Lady, who would I want to impress?

Jay Stark stared to the sky for a while and smiled at God's Irony. No young or teeny one can afford the I Phone when they need it the most and the one’s who can afford it, have no need for it. He was still shaking his head when he was interrupted by the stealth voice of Lord Varys - A man is never too old to Brandish his liking for any kitten on the block. Even the likes of you can feast on any damsel in the kingdom. But since, you are not interested the only other thing I can talk about is the magnificent environment of I Cloud, I Tunes, I Message it brings.”

Jay Stark : All these that you mentioned begin with "I" and why do I wonder that the "I" represents over indulgence in self. Do you think the Freecities in the realm and beyond, which use the Google products do not have something to Message, to listen to music and space to store?

Lord Varys : My Lord! there is a reason why one man rules over others and that is, they don’t know that everything in the rulers' disposal is only the glossed over version of everything they have. If, they knew the  holy truth they will be peers and no man accepts to be ruled by a peer. For he who was made by the Almighty suffers from Jealousy and resents to be ruled by anyone but the throne. Thus, the Rules of the Game were made and thus the game of phones had begun.

Jay Stark snatched the phone from Little finger in disgust and walked out of the iron door without saying any word. The entire council could see the half bitten apple logo signing from far away even as the Hand slowly disappeared from the vision.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

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Californication Season 1: A Jayz Lounge Review

The Tele High this week: Californication Season l : Some folks consider it almost a pornography with some dialogs sprayed in between the scenes. But, David Duchovny makes it lively and trust me if you ignore the carnal pleasures it provides - it is gr8!. Would you be surprised, If I tell you he himself has produced it? Probably not. David's only claim to fame before this was being a shadow of Gillian Anderson in the X-files. Now, to play a lead in a series and fuck at will women half your age - who else will pay for it anyways. Having said that, let me play the Devil's advocate as well - David , as a middle aged loser does make his witty profane wisecracks sound sexy, if not a total aphrodisiac. Women in the series would probably beg to differ.
  David plays Hank Moody, a writer who had written a very successful book. Every single person on this planet is a fan of his writing. His book was made into a very successful movie. The assumption that "life is one big f@#$ing wild party" screws him and leaves him to be a junk. He looses  his beautiful girl (Karen)and his daughter (Becca). Rest of the story is how he deals with his attempts to get her back whenever he has time off from screwing every chick in LA. (lol! and he keeps saying he hates LA). The dad-daughter chemistry is gr8! and his beautiful girl is truly irresistible - and the killer for me is she goes by the name Natasha ! (Natascha McElhone - Ronnin and Truman Show).
             I would say - go for it. Its 20-25 minute straight. I finished one season in two days. It works fine for me. Because of the profane/abusive language and nude scenes in it, I would recommend only to viewers of age above 30 if you r an Indian, 40 if your a Pakistani, 20 if you are an Australian, 16 if you are an American and 12 if you are an European. With chances of it being shown on Indian Television being zilch - you won't have any choice but beg your friends like us to lend you that. That will be not legal either - but then Morally incorruptible people don't like Hank Moody's character either. Go Piracy!!!!.
             I have just downloaded the soundtrack - couple of songs are good. It includes Sea wolf's "garden yo planted", Bob Dylan's "If you see her, say Hello", and Rolling Stones "you can't always get what you want".

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