(This is the work of Dr. Jay. Dr. Jay was awarded the Nobel Prize for his work on reverse metamorphosis and the periodical “The Jaywalk” which first published his work has now become the fifth most revered literature after Ramayana, Mahabharatha, Geetha and Kamasutra in India)
Kolkatian – read as a Dalmatian or an Alsatian. It is a strange species which looks like a homo sapiens but can fly. It has spots all over the body and has a tail like a Dalmatian. It is registered as an endangered species with the WWF. Dr. Jay's work involved observations made on the 101st Kolkatian.
This was 2 B. G. (i.e. Before Ganguly – The Bengali Calendar is divided into the era Before Sourav Ganguly’s retirement and After Sourav Ganguly’s retirement from International cricket), when our hero arrived at this city called Kolkata which was once the British Capital. The Kolkatian was a free spirited Butterfly. He took to the city like the fish takes to the water. The City’s grip was more passionate than that of a lover. It was all wonderful. He was all for the City and the City was his. However, soon The City of Joy clipped his wings and he stopped flying away. Gone were any vacation trips to Goa, Mumbai, Delhi or Bangy. He would hang-out at a popular Camac Street joint or stroll down the roads of Park Street chatting with the pimps. Someone had rolled the dice and triggered a biological phenomenon.
It was not long when chemical changes in his body, left the Kolkatian a crawling caterpillar. It was all Home to Office and Office to Home. The high-point of the day would be the Kusum Roll near a Metro Station while going back to home. Amidst this burn, he was becoming more perceptive and would observe the nature carefully. Probably, his intellectual horizon was expanding. He appreciated little joys that the city would provide him. Some intellectuals at his office said this was what being a classical Babumosai meant and he should enjoy till it lasted… and he did:
He observed the love between The Pan Chewing Spouse and the Blouse fixing Boudi (Bhabhi - sister in Law)… An 82+ Daadu (grandpa) would Hi- Fi in joy as for the 2000th time he had chased a speeding Tram and got on to it… and then there were kids.. ummmmm.. No! Kids were like everywhere else, annoying our Kolkatian for not leaving the Air-hockey or The Shooting game that he wanted to play in the TimeZone at South City Mall.
Oh! The affair and bond grew stronger every passing day. The Lackadaisical Kolkatian soon wouldn’t like more than 8 hours a day of work and go straight to home after work to sleep. The day was not far when the weekends meant by the home, for the home and in the home. The only way to hear the Kolkatian was to chat online or message him over phone. The script was just unfolding. This was 2 A. G. the entire locality where our hero stayed, started having problems with the cellphone services. Legends say, it was a poor frustrated local CPM supporter who caused this. He was still sulking in the election defeat when one night he was beaten badly by his wife. She had been demanding the new android touch phone and he couldn’t buy one. They say she used an abusive language never heard of in decent/indecent Bengali before and a swinging broom that did all the damage. Out of anger and frustration, he burnt down all the local mobile towers disrupting the connectivity for months. This event made the news in Sananda TV, TARA TV, Star Jalsa, Kolkata 24, The Statesman and The Telegraph… What was not heard or noticed was about the Kolkatian, the protagonist of this epic story who was now virtually isolated. He wouldn't get up from the bed and no one could contact him…. The Kolkatian was safe and sleeping in his cocoon… He would dream of a world of wealth, happiness and equality; where children would be playing around the statues of Karl Marx and Jyoti Basu.
The Intellectual Evolution and the Reverse Metamorphosis were complete.
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