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Saturday, January 9, 2010

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Pimpin in Park Street

Every little celebration in Kolkata culminates in Park Street (..the other place would be Tangra, china Town given that your not a rich kid). Park Street also underlines the Liberal Society that Kolkata harbors. Just the other day we were having dinner at Peter Cat when we witnessed two men, sitting besides us, poking at each others' mouth with their tongue. I looked at Naughty Nero and smiled. Naughty Nero said, “Your intense glare is now making me nervous; please, look away.”
Though it’s a bit of an unfair illustration, but not entirely inaccurate. If you call Kolkata the gay capital of India – your dart is not falling far off. Startling scenes (..by Shiv Sena standards) would paint the landscape of Park street. So, you can see free flowing alcohol but hardly any drunken brawls, transvestites hitting the discs at night but hardly being treated as social outcasts and plunging necklines but hardly any stares. (Ummm.. ok the last one is untrue. That would be very unIndian and disrespectful towards women and their right to be stared at.)
Ok... another one before my moral ethos kick in.
If you have landed up in Park Street for food, there is 80 % chance that you will1st try your luck in BarbQ. It serves awesome Tandoori delicacies. That’s what I did following Jay's 1st law of hunger i.e. to find tandoori chicken when hungry. The place was crowded. We were hushed away by the manager with a grin as there was "no room for Bachelors".  As soon as we left dejected, Nature did its balancing act. It had sent a Messiah of bachelors. In laymen's language you can call him THE PIMP. These guys roam around the entire locality like little cock-roaches (lol! what an apt name). A shady character approached us and brushed past us mumbling something like, "kuchh chahiye kya sir". In the moment of confusion, the pimp came closer and said, "Sir! kuchh sewa karoon?". I smiled and said, "What the F!!" “College girl bhi hai!" blurted that slimy old fart. Just before I could nod my head in refusal, Naughty Nero interrupted, "Kitna loge (How much)!!" I distanced myself before any acquaintance could see me getting my hands dirrrty. I waited for Naughty Nero to finish his adventure. He seemed to love every bit of the interaction. He always had said, "He is the only broker who doesn't mind being called a broker." These were the longest 5 minutes of my life. Naughty Nero joined me with a smile of a man who just had his orgasm, leaving the pimp perplexed.
“Why were you unnecessarily bugging that guy?”
Naughty Nero said, "Chill dude! I was just negotiating. That guy was quoting exorbitant rates for the women sitting beside the Metro Station. lol!! Who is gonna shell out hundreds by the hour. I asked him when the fun is only for the 15 - 20 minutes why should I pay for the hour. Docomo ka naam suna hai (Have you heard of Docomo). Brother! ab telecom mein bhi per second billling hai. It seems a classic case of lack of competition." I countered like a sloppy snake woken suddenly. I was surprised and shocked at his argument, which looked stupid at the periphery but really required some thought to beat it hollow.
While I imagined getting calls from unknown numbers pitching for new post paid plan, "Use our girls, pretty ones in all shapes and sizes! Pay a minimum rental and pay by the second"; Naughty Nero signed off by saying, "Boy! Do the new!”

9 comments:

  1. Keeping aside all thoughts of feminism, and the respect I have for paying fighting for women's right. ...and judging purely from negotiating skills perspective. ...

    Naughty nero had a fabulous point. A lot of us used this argument in our daily life. ....like checking out of a hotel early to save a day's rent .....or getting a 5kg pumpkin cut as only half kg is needed. ...

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